Hello folks, I'm back to my blog. Last month I left you heavily pregnant and feeling very uncomfortable, and this month I have returned feeling lighter - my daughter has been born, her name is "Layla Athena" she's now 5 weeks old and I thought I'd start my return with an update, on one of the questions that most of my Passport members have been asking me on coaching calls these last couple of weeks, the question is "So, how do you do it all?"
So many areas of my life have changed since this new little bundle has entered, I'm going to go all out and wear my heart on my sleeve. Sometimes it helps to know we're all human, and we all have parts of our lives that warrant some 'touchy feely' occasionally. I have to say, when I was single, I thought I was busy, then I had kids and hell, I realised I didn't know the meaning of the word...
So let's first go through what 'it all' is for me...
On Tuesday the 22nd of July, our darling daughter was born, 4.4 Kilos (9.7lbs ). She's beautiful and so mellow. Now at 5 weeks old she sleeps between 3-5 hours at night between waking up, depending on how hungry she gets or how hot it is, and during the day she sits with me in the office and sleeps, waking up for food or to chat (she's at the gurgling stage) and life for her is pretty content.
I won't lie to you and say working with a newborn is easy, but it's doable, with the right kind of attitude. When I had my first two I was much less experienced when it came to kids, no sooner did I have my son, but 6 months later I was pregnant with my daughter, and juggling the business back then in 2007/2008/2009 with 2 fairly active little ones.
Back then, I felt the overwhelm, I felt I needed more hours in the day, had issues about 'was I a bad mum' for splitting my attention between the business and my babies etc...
This time around I absolutely can see the mistake I made, I was expecting too much of myself, and I needed to simply calm down, accept that I can only do so much, and live in happiness, not in stress. I realise back then I behaved like I didn't have a choice, that I couldn't do anything about it, like I was powerless and just had to get on and do the best I could. Now I know I have a choice, I control my day, and I made a simple decision, when I am with my family I'm 100% present with them, and when I'm working on my business, I'm 100% present with Virtual Miss Friday, and ta daaaa everything gets done, no overwhelm, and the quality of my life is excellent...
So I was stuck in a clinic in Chania, Crete from Monday night when I went into labour until Friday afternoon, when they eventually 'released' me - I had no internet in my room despite being promised throughout my heavy breathing and baby heartbeat monitoring I would be able to check my email after it was all over (lol okay that's extreme, but not far off) but I was super disappointed I was stuck in a hospital room for all that time without internet. By the time I had got home, Mr Friday and my team had done a great job of holding the fort, but I was greeted with over 170 emails to respond to, yikes - not bad for a week away, Ms. Popular.... I took the weekend off to settle my family back in, and I was back to work as usual on the Monday, when my daughter was 6 days old.
Calls have been a challenge but Mr Friday has stepped up and takes Layla when I have a consultation or need to speak to someone regarding the biz, which has resulted in a new client as well this month.
I know a lot of people think I'm bonkers to carry on working with a newborn, but surprisingly I like the challenge, it's a bit of natural adrenalin and because of my shift in mindset, which I spoke about earlier, it's easier than you'd expect.
A 5 and 6 Year Old.
I have a 5 and 6 year old who have been a great help, but they are also a bit of a handful themselves at times. They have been adapting to life with our little extra person in it, and so far it's been pretty good. I have to admit at times I get exhausted and pass out on the sofa at the end of the day, covered in various baby fluids and looking like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards, then the kids want me to join the tea party with Barbie or be the red racing car in the grand prix reenaction on our living room floor and I have to decline, but they are fairly understanding.
My son adores his new baby sister, my daughter is having some serious issues, I'm not sure what to call it, middle child syndrome, or the fact that she's no longer the baby or maybe because there's a rival girl in the house, but we're slowly working through it....
A Brand New Programme Update.
I am SOOOOOOOO excited
to announce that I have also been working away on The VA Shoestring
update - yes I squeezed it in! This has to be one of the biggest makeovers I've ever given a programme, since having my baby I've made over 30 new presentations and videos, plus loads of additional features, and it's setting the bar for the next updates of the Apprentice
also happening this year. I am so excited to release it. It's now 'live' in the members area (bar a few finishing touches which are coming up this week). Remember all existing members on the programme get the update free so watch this space.
And Then There's Just Life...
Various other daily life things are happening, my son is starting a new school here in Greece in a couple of weeks after summer holidays end, I have a bunch of new ideas for programmes and business development, I'm still recovering and currently have more 'baby' pounds to shed than I care to mention (I'm considering publicly documenting my 'eliminate baby pounds' progress if this is of interest to you, please leave a comment below to let me know) and I've just heard the news that a relative of mine died, a beautiful woman who our family shall miss so much....
So the answer to the question...
How Do I Do It All?
I am a fairly spiritual person, not in a tree hugger "kum ba yah" sort of way, but I always feel that there's something much bigger than me looking out for me, taking care of me, and I trust it, often blindly or when it makes no logical sense, so therefore, I worry about very little, and I go about each day with faith that whatever needs to be done will get done, and if it doesn't get done, then it didn't need to be done that day. I practice visualisation which also helps, I try to always see things the way I want them to be if they don't appear the be that way as they are.
I once was listening to an audio, where a man said, "I want to become a millionaire, but I don't want to work for it" - what would have been a better attitude to have would be to say, "I want to become a millionaire, and I want the process to be enjoyable and fun."
That's how I do it, I approach life with the attitude that, all these things are necessary. I wouldn't want to be without my kids, or my business, my clients or my family, so I have no intention of wishing any of my 'busy-ness' away, but I do always intend for the universe to give me the strength and the circumstances to allow me to deal with things with ease, and enjoyment.
I may have to be on breastfeeding duty 12 times a day, but at the same time I get to spend time staring at my little girl's face 12 times a day while she eats, and that never gets boring :-)
I may have to work later than usual to get everything done, or push myself a little harder than I would like to, but I get to work on projects I love to work on that excite me.
Is anything really that bad when you look at it from the present moment? Most of the time no... I accept that even if I'm only doing 1 thing in that moment out of 100 things that need to be done that day, I know that the one thing I'm doing is what needs my attention, and while I'm doing it, that's all that matters for that moment. Then things become less overwhelming and actually way more productive.
So next time you're thinking that you're overwhelmed or tired, and you have no idea how you'll pull through or can't see the way forward, don't wish anything away unless you really want it gone, don't dwell on the fact you're about to keel over ;-) Just ask that whatever you need to do is easy, enjoyable and fulfilling, and even though at times it may be difficult, always try to see the good in the choices you've made because these are what makes your life what it is today.